Monday, July 26, 2010

*I'm Back.... part 1*

Happy Monday everyone....  this may be a long post as I have a few things I need to talk about before I share some creativity with you...  I think I will do it in three posts.... so you can decide what you want to read...

First, the blog break....  late in the afternoon of July 16th I had a call from my sister who has been staying with Mom in Regina while I've been home.  Mom was admitted to hospital on Wednesday and wasn't doing great.  Friday a Dr told Heather that Mom's time was very limited.  I hopped on the first available flight (9pm) and went to Regina, prepared to say "goodbye".  We were so sure of this.  Mom was showing all of the signs of being near death.  We summoned some of the family to come say good bye.  We started keeping a vigil at her bedside.  Saturday she was worse.  She was seeing dead loved ones.  She wasn't make any sense.  She was hardly awake.  Sunday she was more alert, but she still wasn't with us for the most part.  And Monday she woke up relatively alert.  She rallied.  And she's still with us.  I came home on Tuesday and while she's very tired and very weak, she is still with us.  She wants to die.  She is ready to die. But she is still here.  Yesterday (July 25th), she was moved to the Hospice in Regina.  She was upset about going there, probably because she knows it is where she will live the last days of her life.  But once there she realized how caring the staff is and how comfortable her room is.  And she thinks that it is OK.

We have no idea how much longer she has left.... days?  weeks?  perhaps even months.

My plan from 3 weeks ago was to be heading back to Regina on the 27th of July to relieve Heather for a few weeks but Heather has decided that she just can't leave Mom so Heather has suggested that I stay home for a while longer.  I don't know how much longer, but I am home with  my family.

It's been a tough rollercoaster for the last 6 months and the last few weeks have been very difficult too... so sad to think that your Mom is about to die, but you come to terms with it and are prepared for it to happen.... and then it doesn't.  You can't even begin to imagine the emotions...  I couldn't have written here had a tried in the last week....

Please keep my Mom in your thoughts and prayers....  all we are asking for right now is comfort for her...
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2 comments:

Kimber said...

Nancy, just as God is waiting for her with her loved ones with open arms...he is there with arms open for you too :) I can't tell you how sad I am for you and your family. Please know that in even our silence, we are praying for you and especially for your mother....I'm sure she's a very special woman...

xxoo Kim

Susan Raihala said...

Your whole family is in my prayers. Still.